You are a female? You’re fat. It doesn’t really matter if you are 100 pounds or  200 pounds some chummy little chunk of a man (or woman for that matter) will find your imperfections. Welcome to America.

I am a feminist but not in the hairy arm pit sense of the word. I openly enjoy the liberties and free passes I get as a woman here in the states. I can cover pimples with concealer, complain and nag openly, cry while watching A Walk to Remember, fearlessly support gay rights, and most of all live a moderately hair-free life style.

There are injustices on both sides and I won’t even begin to show statistical evidence for this because intrinsically we all know it’s true. I will openly admit that for the sake of perspective I am only going to talk about what personal experience has led me to gripe about.

Diets, January is always the start of them. New Year, new you bullshit begins and you are stuck wondering how long will this last? How long will you be able to resist those bag of chips you bought for your “cheat day” or that strawberry ice cream that already feels cold and delicious on your tongue as you stare it? Well I am not sure about you but for me it’s a tough balance. Exercise is the way I can continue to lose weight and remain healthy usually calorie counting diets just don’t work for me, my life is too interesting *takes sip of a vodka cranberry*. Plus, it’s true exercise does release endorphins that make you happy and I subconsciously feel thinner each time.

Not nearly enough men have to worry about these types of things because once they have a girl hooked they can totally let themselves go. They are not the ones responsible for keeping the flame going the only thing they can be held responsible for is a warm spot at the computer chair when they leave to take a shit. Trust me that shit is not going to make their stomach smaller than their butt. You’re screwed you believer in love you lust-less creature stuck blogging about your inability to inspire your lovely ball of lazy.

I will spare you the repetitive impossibility of Photoshopped bodies speech but know this; when making a sex tape makes you one of the most lucrative women in the U.S. my general hope for the masses is lost. I am bombarded with the fact that we are all (men and women alike) buying into a porn-centric self-worth system.